Dear S,

I know that there is a just God. People may not understand why I reacted that way because of how low you made me feel that day. I don’t know if you were aware how hurtful your words were to me that day. Especially when you hang up the phone when I was still speaking. I felt so little because hanging up the phone on me gave me the message that you were free to tell me anything you wanted but I could not say anything from my side.

I wasn’t planning to go to your boss' office because of the incident. I stood up from my chair intending to talk to you in person. But you were in your boss' office. So I went there and started to tell your boss that you hang up on me. But you both stopped me from speaking. I was so angry. I know I wouldn’t be able to control my hand ready to punch you if I didn’t go out of your boss' office. So I went out. If walking out of your boss' office instead of punching you in the face is a crime, then sue me. I don’t care. It was how I felt.

What hurt me is you implied that I cannot talk to the manager because I was only a receptionist. It made me feel that I was a lesser human being. Should I keep quiet because they are on a higher position? Does being a receptionist rob me off of my right to speak? Then you told me that you were only correcting me. But I didn’t see the point of correction when you yourself weren’t sure if I told the client that you resigned three years back.

First of all, I have no idea about people who resigned from this company. And I don’t think I need to know so I don’t ask my boss. When I receive calls from people who look for people I don’t recognize the name, I just say WJ has no such employee. If the person on the other line asks if such individual resigned from the company, I just say I don’t know. And again, I don’t think it’s my job to know all the people who resigned from this company much more know when they resigned. Because of this, I am very confident that I did not tell the client that you resigned from this company three years back.

I was going to tell you all this, but you didn’t give me a chance. You belittled me and didn’t give me a chance to say my piece. Instead, you opted on hanging up on me and running to your manager. I know this was blown out of proportion because of how I reacted. But I cannot tolerate being belittled.

Now to the CAPS and exclamation marks. I don’t know if you know, but I am a writer—a published writer. So I know a thing or two about written words. Written words does not voice out the tone of the speaker, so the way you write words and the way you word your written words, speaks volumes. Exclamation marks are intended for, well, exclamations. Usually, it means you are excited or angry. But no matter how you feel, exclamations imply that your voice is raised than normal. As for the CAPS, this means that you are shouting. So by replying to my email with “NO ATTACHMENT!!” it told me that you are angry because I neglected to attach the invoice. So I told you that you don’t need to use CAPS and exclamation marks. That even without using those, I can understand you perfectly well.

If this is how you email our clients or even our fellow employees, they might misunderstand you. Exclamation marks and CAPS are usually frowned upon in business letters. Do you use exclamation marks and CAPS in emailing our clients? If not, then why do it to me?

What happened was I forwarded the email to Mariya. I know it was with attachment. We can check her email if you want. And then she replied that I should forward it to you. I forwarded the email to you with Mariya’s response. My mistake was I didn’t notice that the attachment wasn’t in Mariya’s response. I’m not saying that it was her fault, I’m saying that it was my mistake for not noticing the attachment wasn’t in her response. So it wasn’t intentional to forward you the email without the attachment.

Again, I know that there is a just God. People may not fully understand why I reacted that way because of how little you made me feel that day. You may lie about what happened that day to our managers, or even to yourself, but you cannot lie to God. I know my fault and I don’t excuse myself. I know that walking out of your boss' office was wrong and I know that wanting to punch you was wrong. But I think it’s better to say it than to pretend that I am ok with what you did to me.

I don’t care if you understand me or not. I don’t care if you think I’m a horrible person. I know that there is a just God. And I know that there are consequences for all our actions, good or bad, big or small.

--Carizz